36 Things I've Learned in 36 Years
Now that I've been 36 for a few days, I'm giving you an overview of 36 things that I've learned (and you've learned too in the end) while growing up, while creating my adult life.
1) Accept that friendships evolve
The friends we make are not always for life. You have to know how to say goodbye and accept that a friendly relationship has ended. It can be hard sometimes but you have to accept it. People change, you too and friendly breakups really do exist. You make new friends, sometimes fleeting friends with whom you have a great time. But true friends who will stay your whole life are rare.
I experienced it with my best friend, who suddenly ghosted me overnight without any arguments or anything beforehand. Incomprehension for a while then I finally let go of the idea that I would never know why and I continued without. And yet, I thought we had one of those friendships where you know, with a look we understood each other, no need for words. Like a friendly love at first sight really. I didn't see it ending this way and even less so quickly.
2) That gorging yourself without gaining an ounce only lasts for a while
After the age of 25, for my part, I unfortunately made the harsh observation...
3) Our first love does not necessarily rhyme with forever
This first love can profoundly shape your vision of love.
Because it was an experience without reference points, so you may tend to have idealized it.
And then with age you mature. You know better what you want and sometimes you realize that you don't have so much in common anymore, that your aspirations diverge.
A person is of course not the same at 15, 25 or 35 years old.
4) You don't become an adult by magic at 18.
Every day we learn to be a little more and take responsibility.
As Marion Seclin would say for Madmoizelle "We continue to pretend that we know what we are doing, but we never really know deep down. We always remain a child who lives by trial and error. Who tries, who fails and who starts again or who changes path."
5) "Karma is a bitch" – You get what you give
Don't they say, don't do to others what you wouldn't want done to you?
Whatever you do, good or bad, always comes back to you in one way or another.
Very often the wheel keeps turning
Everything is just passing through… It’s important not to forget that. It’s not because right now, you’re in a bad financial, professional, or emotional situation that things will go wrong. You can change, make things change. It’s in your power. Conversely, when everything is going well, never forget that everything can change overnight. So enjoy your moments of happiness.
6) Sometimes it's good to fail
Even when you fail, you always end up learning from it. It makes you grow.
Without failure, you will never learn how to succeed. So fail, rather than trying to avoid failure and being afraid of it.
Remember Steven Spielberg who was rejected from film school. Before becoming a few years later one of the greatest directors of his generation. Or Michael Jordan who was cut from his high school basketball team. And to see his long career that followed in this sport afterwards.
7) Blood ties do not always prevail over those of the heart.
Many people from your family growing up are no longer necessarily part of your life, whether by choice or geographical distance.
And as Charles de Secondat would say "It is not only the ties of blood that form kinship, but also those of the Heart and Intelligence."
8) Never perm straight, fine hair.
(At the risk of taking years to find a hair texture that does not have the texture of straw)
9) You can't please everyone
Don't do or say things just to make people like you.
Living by doing and waiting for the slightest sign of approval from others, the slightest like on your Instagram photos... What do you gain from it, really?
It's a long-term job, not necessarily easy when you don't have confidence in yourself, I agree.
I invite you to read one of the Toltec agreements from the eponymous book by Don Miguel Ruiz: “Never make it personal.”
To sum up: Don't take other people's remarks and actions personally, as they are simply their own representation of the world (their projection). You are then taking away the power you gave them to judge you.
10) The Prince Charming of our favorite romantic comedies does not exist.
Let's set the record straight right away.
The good-looking guy who is good in every way is not going to come knocking at your door.
Your next door neighbor rarely looks like Gabriel d'Emily in Paris.
And you never receive flowers from the gentleman to express his love for you.
Not to mention the omnipresent gallantry in these fairy tales which is increasingly rare these days.
Finally, if Prince Charming existed, life would perhaps be all beautiful, all rosy, certainly, but what a bore we would be!!
Because in real life, there will be clashes from time to time and that's quite normal. Not to mention that the reunion on the pillow will be all the more beautiful 😉
See my article on the blog: Our cult films and series have shaped our romantic imaginations
11) Your friends become your family of heart
The older you get, the more unanimous the observation is.
The number of true friends can be found on the fingers of one hand.
Who will be there in bad times, when you need support? That's how you recognize true friends, in my opinion.
So you prefer to have few friends but people you can count on and with whom you really like spending time. These people who often know you better than your own family. Evolving with you on a daily basis in your joys as well as in your doubts or your sorrows.
And thus prioritize quality over quantity.
Then, don't they say that we are the sum of the 5 people with whom we spend the most time?
12) The destination is less important than the journey
So preoccupied with the goal that you don't take the time to see what's happening along the way, or the detours taken.
Make more money, buy an apartment, complete your first marathon, lose 10 kg…. then I will be happy."
But this is a decoy. Because it is not the achievement of goals that makes you happy, it is the path you take to get there.
13) You will often go through several jobs before finding what you really like.
I admire people who find their path at a young age and stick with it over time.
But life evolves, your desires and opinions too. And you often find yourself pursuing a career in a field that is the opposite of what you thought you would go into when you left high school.
Look at the profusion of Digital Nomads on the market over the last decade. These self-employed people have sometimes gone from one thing to another: from doctor to influencer or from accountant to travel planner. Everything is possible today with the emergence of these new Internet and social media professions.
14) Protecting yourself with sunscreen is a lifesaver, your skin’s best friend
If I had been more careful during my summers at the beach when I was younger, I wouldn't have all these moles on my shoulders now.
And we can't say it enough: sunscreens act as a protective shield that helps your skin stay safe from damage and prevent skin cancer.
15) Betaine citrate is your best friend the day after a drunken night (especially after 30)
No comment 😉
16) The planet can live without you but humans cannot live without the planet.
Our actions will determine the longevity of our species.
5 causes of this loss of biodiversity: land use change, overexploitation, invasive species, pollution and climate change.
No need to make big speeches here. Despite the collective awareness about saving the planet, too few actions are still being implemented today.
17) Stop comparing yourself to others
Especially in the world we live in, full of storytelling.
Social media constantly reminds you that nothing is ever enough. You quickly end up feeling less beautiful, less funny, less creative, in short LESS everything.
But what does this bring you exactly? Yes, it is a human reflex, but it also brings its share of frustrations.
Rather than comparing yourself, even if you use social networks, follow accounts that inspire you. On profiles related to travel if it's a theme that interests you. Healthy food accounts to give you meal ideas, etc.
So we seek inspiration, we do not envy.
18) Don't blindly trust everyone at the risk of falling from a great height.
Be careful, it is not a question of not trusting and being suspicious of everything. No, on the contrary.
But in any case, don't give your trust too quickly because often people are not what they claim to be. So, just be careful.
19) Learn to say no
Setting boundaries helps you protect yourself and finally stop paying more attention to the needs of others than your own.
Give yourself the right to go back on a decision, be firm, do not give an answer immediately. And above all, do not feel obliged to justify your refusal at length and in detail.
20) Experience is worth all the degrees in the world
I am a living example of this. For more than 15 years in the world of work, my general degree in communication has never brought me any work.
On the contrary, I learned my different jobs on the field. It is not the diploma that will justify your abilities to be operational in a job. (Well in many fields not in all, a doctor without diplomas is impossible, we understand).
I am from the school that believes that you learn by doing.
Unfortunately, in some fields of work or cultures, degrees are still considered the main criterion for hiring, which is a shame.
21) Buy less but better
Shopping addict, I learned to calm down over the years (maybe the beginning of the age of wisdom, who knows? 😉 )
For me it occupied weekends when I was alone as a hobby.
I filled my emotions with clothes.
To finally, very often, go beyond the crush in the store and the compulsive purchase, leaving my trophy to sleep in a cupboard...
I give myself more time to think before spontaneously buying something and of course I check its composition and origin more and more.
22) Following your intuition is the best compass
It's not always easy to listen to yourself, life sometimes leads us to be tempted to do things that don't suit us.
Over the years, I have learned to listen to myself more and more with the job offers I could receive, my feelings after meetings and interviews.
See if these companies are aligned with my deep values that I have learned to discover over time and experience.
If I had listened to my intuition in the past also on a personal level, it would have prevented me from getting bogged down in a long difficult story that left me drained of all energy and self-esteem.
See my article on this subject : Slices of life, I had a destructive affair
So really, your intuition is your ally in life, take the time to listen to it.
23) Smoking gives you bad breath, dulls your complexion and alters the texture of your hair.
Or as Bourdon and Campan said so well: “Tobacco is taboo, we will all get rid of it” (Millennial friends, you will understand the reference ;-))
24) Traveling, exploring the world allows you to continually enrich yourself, build yourself, and learn to know yourself.
I can't say it enough, but when you get a taste for travel it becomes a real addiction, you can't do without it. As soon as you get back you're already thinking about the next one.
Or try to leave everything behind and go and live somewhere else as an expatriate for a while. It's less about courage, as many tend to think, than about giving yourself the means to do so.
After all, it's not set in stone. You can try it for a few months and if it doesn't suit you, you go back. But don't take away the privilege of living an expatriation if you've been wanting to for a while. If your desires for elsewhere are calling you.
25) Stepping out of your comfort zone can be uncomfortable but beneficial.
Yes, because by trying to get out of it from time to time, you risk being pleasantly surprised and will have the opportunity to live a thrilling experience.
We are not talking about big actions specifically here.
You can start small: speaking in public, changing your commute to work, or choosing a new dish at a restaurant. Just do something you're not used to doing and that might scare you.
And to think bigger, what is the first adventure on your bucket list to set up today?
So go on a trip alone, go skydiving if you feel like it, in short, dare!
26) Life is too short not to dare to do what you want.
If there's one thing in life that you can't control, it's the grip of time. Your temples are already starting to turn gray before you've even found your bearings in life, often.
So if this solo trip tickles your fancy, if you want to get a tattoo, dye your hair pink or even gorge yourself on candy, treat yourself. YOLO!
27) The only person who can make you happy is yourself.
Yes, because you are the most important person in your life.
There is nothing wrong with taking care of yourself, quite the contrary. Take the time to please yourself as I said above.
It could be going to the spa, going to the movies, having a drink with friends.
Anything is possible.
So, stop waiting to have friends or a sweetheart to do this or that activity or trip and go for it! Do what makes you sincerely happy.
28) Take care of your body because it's the only one you have
Whether it is the food you eat, prolonged sedentary lifestyle, health monitoring, your body is your shield and you must take care of it.
In particular, doing sport contributes quite a bit to happiness.
So let's get moving!
29) Everything happens for a reason
Have you ever wondered what your life would be like if you hadn't made a decision that seemed completely innocuous at the time?
When you meet the right person at the right time, for example.
If I had not chosen this internship during my 1e year in Paris, I would not have had this encounter which brought me my first job and launched my career in TV.
I also tell myself this when I don't get the job I'm applying for in production here in Montreal. Even if it wasn't always so obvious, I can tell myself now that if I didn't get these jobs, it's because destiny has something better in store for me elsewhere.
30) Hypersensitivity is a superpower
You experience everything more intensely then all these positive emotions of joy, love or hope are increased tenfold. In an anesthetized world where you are invited to hide your emotions rather, it is on the contrary a strength to have this singularity.
Showing your weaknesses is not shameful.
So cry, show your emotions, express your sensitivity and vulnerability, for fuck's sake!
31) There is no shame in asking for help
Stigmas still die hard. And even today, undergoing psychotherapy can still be associated with having a mental illness. And the judgment that can follow.
And let's not lie to ourselves, exposing ourselves to a stranger is scary, whether we do brief therapy (hypnosis, sophrology, NLP, etc.) or long psychotherapy.
32) Learn to save and budget as soon as you start working
Better learn to manage your money early enough
Money may not buy happiness, but it can help you achieve your goals and protect you from want.
33) Never stop being curious, never stop learning.
Knowledge is one of those things that, besides not being able to be taken away from you, can help you grow and move forward in your lives.
34) Let go of what you cannot control
Sometimes you have to lose some things to make room for others.
And then very often, no matter how much you control everything, often nothing happens as planned.
A certain pandemic that hit us 2 years ago for example).
Also, don't exhaust yourself chasing people. If a person wants to spend time with you and make room for you in their life, they will find the time.
You can't change people and don't have any expectations about that.
35) It's never too late to change, start again, evolve
There is no age at which you have to find your ultimate happiness in life, own a home, find a sweetheart or anything else important.
You are never too young or too old to start something that is important to you, to take a first step towards a life that you find better. This could be a career change or going back to school late in life, etc.
This is done a lot here in North America, but it is less well received in France.
36) Food is life.
Q.E.D.
Bonus:
37) And remember, life is a party 😉
