7 things you don't see in my photos

Real life isn't what we post. It's what happens between the photos. The moments we don't filter, that we don't share. Because they're too ordinary or too difficult to put into words.

Here's what you don't see on mine.

1. Grief in everyday life

Grief is not what we imagine. It's not just about major breakdowns or anniversaries. It's also, and above all, about ordinary days.

It's having a question, a piece of news, something to tell. It's picking up your phone without even thinking, searching for the contact. And then, as you start typing, it's realizing somewhere between the screen lighting up and the name you're looking for that it's no longer possible.

It's the dates that keep coming back. Their birthday, yours. And no one around you really remembers. Not because they don't care, but because time passes and people have their own lives.

And then there's that realization, one day, that you're no longer anyone's daughter. That safety net (even a symbolic one) is gone. Grieving doesn't mean getting used to it. It means keeping moving forward. Even when you don't feel like it.

2. The fatigue of starting over

Starting over after living abroad takes courage. Everyone tells you that. And it's true. But what no one says is that courage is tiring.

Returning to France after years abroad means starting from scratch in many ways. Changing cities, rebuilding a social circle, retelling your story. Explaining your life again to every new person you meet, where you come from, why you left, and especially why you came back. Smiling, making a good impression. And starting all over again to rebuild what took you years.

There are evenings when you're proud and exhausted at the same time. When you no longer feel like being brave. When you just wish someone already knew your story without you having to explain everything again.

3. Doubt about career / career change

Job hunting after 40 is a high-level sport that no one taught you. You send emails into the void. You wait. You follow up politely. You wait some more. You doubt yourself and then you start all over again.

And between periods of radio silence, you start questioning not just your CV, but all the choices that led you here. The city. The country. The years spent building something that you now have to sell in three lines to someone who doesn't know you.

This is what doubt feels like when you're changing careers: wondering if you made the right choices at 2 a.m. As if that were the right time to answer that. As if you already had the answer anyway.

4. Emotional eating

Leaving the fridge open at 10 PM isn't really about being hungry. It's just that sometimes you don't know what else to do with how you feel.

Compulsive or emotional eating is seeking in food what one cannot ask of others: comfort, gentleness, something that fills a void without requiring explanation or vulnerability.

So we snack in front of the TV. A series, an open package, the sound on so we don't hear the silence. It's not about being greedy. It's about emotional survival. And I think there are many more of us doing this than we admit.

5. Discipline behind the scenes

You see the sunsets. Not the 6 a.m. on set when everyone is still asleep. Not the 18-hour shoot where you're constantly dealing with unexpected events, without a break, with a smile because it's your job and the crew needs you to hold on.

The decisions you have to make when everyone is watching. The fatigue you swallow because it's not the right time.

It's not glamorous. But that's what I like.

6. Chosen solitude

Drinking coffee alone. Going to the movies alone. Traveling alone. Actually, I've always done it. But for a long time, I didn't dare say so. As if it meant something was wrong.

No, I just didn't want to wait for someone to become available so I could live my life.

Choosing solitude isn't an admission of failure. It's a space of one's own. And it took me a while to understand the difference between being alone and feeling lonely. They are two very different things.

7. The desire to reinvent oneself at 40

I returned to France after 8 years abroad. Not out of obligation. Because I wanted something different. Even if I didn't yet know exactly what.

Reinventing yourself at 40 isn't about changing who you are. It's about asking yourself who you want to be now. In this city, in this life, at this age. There are days when it's exciting. There are days when you look at others and it seems like they all have a plan except you.

But I'm starting to believe that building as we go isn't so bad. Even without knowing exactly where we're going.

That's life too. The in-between. Not just the pretty pictures. 🤍

And if you've made it this far — it might be because you too live in this in-between state. So welcome to my life 😉