Masturdating or the art of being self-sufficient

No no I see you coming with your misplaced minds, masturdating is not the latest fashionable sexual practice 😉

Contraction of "masturbation " And " dating ", it is about the art of being self-sufficient.

The term was first used in 2015 on the American talk show, The Late Show by Conan O'Brien. It's basically about setting up a date with yourself.

Strange you think? And yet..

What is masturdating?

This starts from a basic observation:

It's Saturday night, the weather is nice outside but none of your friends are available to go out.

Between Célia who has already planned a meal with friends, Thomas who has gone on a weekend and Amandine who already has an evening with her darling, you are moping. Alone facing your solitude.

To ruminate on while preparing your meal, in TV tray mode in front of a Netflix program or the latest stupid show.

But in the end, why wait for others to do activities? Why not organize a solo outing, one-on-one with yourself?

ITS BENEFITS

By allowing yourself these kinds of moments where you follow your desires, ignoring what others think, you allow yourself to experience great things.

For example, I would never have done all those solo road trips over the years if I had to wait for friends or a sweetheart to go with.

I would never have attended all those concerts, shows, plays, movies at the cinema. Or even met my beloved Bradley Cooper!! (yes yes it's true).

"To be loved, you must first love yourself." says the proverb.

So, yes I know, we are tired of hearing these kinds of ready-made phrases. And yet it is ultimately true. This new trend allows you to take action to learn to know yourself and therefore love yourself more.

As Selina and Vicki, the creators of the dating site, explain Project Love : “Dating yourself is a way to discover who you are and what brings you joy. By taking the time to get to know yourself – or as we like to say, ‘to indulge yourself,’ you get to know who you are, instead of waiting for others to tell you who you are.”

This also allows you to get out of your comfort zone, clear your mind, spend time with yourself and ultimately get to know yourself better.

Being comfortable with yourself rather than depending on others helps develop good self-esteem.

So no more being looked at by others and the feeling of being seen as a modern-day Bridget Jones, making people around you feel sorry for you.

If your sweetheart doesn't want to come see the latest romantic comedy, well, too bad. Go enjoy this movie alone. And if there's one place where you can be discreetly alone, it's here.

In the dark, watching a movie, without the need to chat or put on any act. Ideal for starting small, if you want to challenge yourself to do things alone.

And it's 2022, dammit!

We are far from our adolescence where being alone is clearly shameful.

We grew up with this idea that we had to do activities with someone else.

On the contrary, nowadays, daring to do things alone is a sign of a certain independence and a considerable strength of character. You manage to free yourself a little more each time, through habit, from the gaze of others.

WHAT'S IN IT FOR US?

And then there are the advantages:

• No need to debate and procrastinate for a long time about the choice of film, restaurant, it's you who decides
• You eat what you want, and if you want to gorge yourself, there's no one to judge you.
• End your day peacefully without having to talk to someone necessarily (especially if you are not in the mood for discussion).
• Go on a shopping spree where you don't have to wait hours for your friend to finish trying on clothes when you want to go to another store.
• You can visit a particular place for as long as you want (especially when travelling, where you can make your own programme without having to make any concessions)
• Sitting on a café terrace in the sunshine with a good book in your hand, that's all there is to it!

So we're not asking to stay single all our lives, and live with a hundred cats, taking advantage of these simple outings to have fun.

No, the important thing here is to feel equally good in activities, alone or accompanied. That's the whole point of the concept of masturdating.

Besides, this is not reserved only for singles, on the contrary! Especially for couples who need to breathe, to have their moments just for them. I think it is rather beneficial for the good functioning of the couple in the long term.

Because very often, some people only get into relationships to fill a void. And they don't know how to appreciate their own company. But without this kindness towards yourself, you won't be able to be truly happy.

So challenge yourself, plan a date with yourself: whether it's to go see that exhibition that you've been eyeing, to finally organize that road trip that you've been dreaming of but that you keep putting off, and so on.

DARE!