Resilience or the ability to cope with adversity

We all know people who, despite the worst trials in life, manage to bounce back and find happiness again.

While on the other hand, some people will be more likely to fall into depression or sadness at the slightest negative event.

It's about resilience, or the ability to live, succeed and develop despite adversity.

Coming from the Latin “Resiliens”, which means to jump again, to bounce again, this concept was popularized by the neurologist and psychoanalyst Boris Cyrulnik.

Term adapted in the 40s, initially the word "resilience" is a physical concept. Or the ability of an object to resist a shock.

In psychology, resilience is defined as a combination of internal strengths, external support and learning from experience. It is therefore returning to balance following trauma.

Personality traits of resilient people

• Tendency to put everyday problems into perspective
• Tendency towards perfectionism
• Kindness, need to be liked, fear of rejection
• Listening to others
• Hypersensitivity

But rest assured, resilience is not something particularly innate, but can be acquired.

Keys to developing it on a daily basis

• Don't always see yourself as a victim
• Try to see the bright side of things
• Having goals/objectives in life
• Be enthusiastic about change (see it as an aspect of life)
• Surround yourself with positive people
• Be grateful for what you already have
• Accept reality as quickly as possible (it is not about pretending that nothing is happening but rather about facing it)
• Managing your emotions (when the environment is chaotic it is essential to focus on care and be serene from the inside)
• Learn to let go (create space for the new, don't force things. Taking a step back allows you to jump better in the end)
• Change your perception of things by not letting yourself be overwhelmed.

Concrete cases of resilience

Finally, to conclude, nothing beats concrete examples to draw inspiration from.

Take for example the case of Oprah Winfrey's resilience: from victim of violence, abuse, incest, to queen of the talk show in the USA.

Or some survivors of the attacks on the terraces on November 13, 2015 in Paris, who demonstrated impressive resilience during the trial by beginning their testimony with "I am writing to you without hatred."

They are ready to forgive.

Here is the testimony of Lydia B., 30 years old, survivor of the Bataclan with 2 friends.

"After surviving, I keep smiling as best I can and resist the daily trials. Despite the monstrosity that will never be erased from my memory, I chose to fight in my own way: to use the harm that was done to me to become even better, to transform this harm into a source of happiness and to help others to be happy,"