Expatriation: Koh Lanta of friendship

Expatriation is a bit like a blank sheet of paper. It's up to us to fill the pages with our experiences.

You never know what you'll find when you arrive in your new country.

I recently celebrated my 4th birthday in Montreal.

And looking back on my journey so far, I have to say that I spent my first two years of life here watching the film "The Spanish Inn".

Always something to do, an activity, an outing, people to meet, in the evenings or on weekends.

This circle of friends was established so easily from the start of my expat life, everything happened naturally without having to “look” for friends.

It all started with a meeting with the person with whom I would end up setting up our first shared accommodation, following a Facebook group of thirty-something working holidaymakers looking for an apartment.

We immediately found THE apartment, magnificent, spacious, with its moldings and lime paint, everything was there to create our cocoon here.

After a few months, the 4 roommates became close, meeting each other's friends. From there, this group of friends naturally formed, going on weekends together to the USA, renting cabins, celebrating all the birthdays or having many evenings at our place, ending them singing at the top of our lungs to Celine Dion (the basics).

To find a second adolescence, to end up The Tulip, the local club, on a whim at 2am, to the sounds of the 80s. This old renovated theater is super spacious. We had a great time there and I have wonderful memories of it.

I loved that time where I didn't feel alone for a minute. I was living my best life.

We ended up extending the shared accommodation experience by finding ourselves together with the co-creator of our first home.

All those Sunday meals together, remaking the world. How far away it seems when I think back on it, and yet still so fresh in my mind.

Then, it's chaos. One person returns to France, then another over the weeks and months, due to the end of their PVT.

Like Koh Lanta, the sentence for me was irrevocable

Losing this family of heart, my pillar, is hard to take. Like those people isolated in TV games for weeks, the feelings developed are more exacerbated because we understand each other, we live the same thing and we support each other.

Having become a real cocoon, they have contributed to our feeling of being well, of being at home, even very far away. So when they leave, the order of things is turned upside down and our daily life becomes duller.

So, that's how from a group of about ten friends, we are now only two survivors...

Apart from the few people I met through my sporting activities, everything had to be redone.

It’s not easy, especially after the age of 35, to recreate a social circle.

Especially since there is always the possibility that the new friends we make will also leave sooner or later.

People in my age group often already have a family life or at least a sweetheart.

So it's hard to find common availability on weekends and appointments have to be organized in advance,

No more room for spontaneity.

Luckily, social media is here to give you a helping hand.

I have since been able to meet several people thanks to posts suggesting outings on Facebook.

Afterwards, like any relationship, you have to maintain them and manage to see each other regularly so that it turns into friendship.

But it is a process that is constantly under construction...

Friendly relations and expatriation, all in all a real obstacle course...