Expatriation: What living abroad taught me
An expatriation is undoubtedly an incredible and formative adventure. No matter how much time you spend in your host country.
So let's find out what benefits and lessons you can learn from traveling to the other side of the world.
Get out of your comfort zone
By settling abroad, I tried things that I probably would never have tried if I had stayed in my cocoon in France.
Yes, because when you have your life well established, you rarely meet new people. From time to time, a new colleague at work, at the gym or even the new boyfriend/girlfriend of one of your friends enters your life. But these are quite rare moments after all.
As an expat, it's the opposite. When you arrive in a new country, you owe it to yourself to go and meet new people. Whether it's for a job, a shared apartment or simply creating a social life for yourself. It's in the nature of things. So, it forces you out of your comfort zone.
You learn to overcome the apprehension of the unknown and to venture into new situations, which helps to develop a mental independence.
Developing your autonomy
Being away from your usual small support group, you are often faced with the need to make decisions for yourself.
Indeed, you will have to manage many aspects of your daily life, from managing finances to cooking and organizing travel. You may have already done this before leaving, you might say. But here you have to deal with the cultural codes of a new country on top of that.
Being away from family and friends can sometimes be emotionally difficult. However, it can learn how to manage stress, loneliness and other emotions on your own.
Whether it's exploring your new surroundings, pursuing professional opportunities or engaging in social activities, you learn to be proactive and seize opportunities that arise. Once again, things will not come to you by themselves. In any case, you have to get moving to create a new daily life, especially your social life.
Also living alone (whether abroad or not), you learn to budget, manage your expenses and plan for the future independently.
Knowing how to adapt
Adapting to a new culture, language and way of life requires flexibility. You learn to adapt quickly to changes, to be creative in solving problems
If the host country has a different language than yours, living there is a great opportunity to improve your language skills.
As for me, even though I have a good command of English, there is always this slight embarrassment in speaking it with my very pronounced French accent. On the other hand, there is no problem in writing or reading it.
And then having to use both languages (French/English) in all the jobs I've had in Montreal, well it's like everything, it's by practicing that you become more comfortable. And you end up letting go more of that over time.
You learn to adapt to cultural norms, traditions and attitudes that may differ significantly from those of your native culture. This cultural flexibility allows you to integrate more easily into your new environment.
Especially in the world of work.
For me, for example, with all the companies I have undertaken since my arrival, I have had to adapt each time. Whether it is through integration into new teams, tasks/responsibilities of the position, areas outside of my aspirations sometimes even.
But I met and connected with a lot of people there in the end, having developed a significant professional network in the long run.
What helps me today to make the first step more easily, to approach people. All the past interviews have increased tenfold in me a spontaneous dynamism as soon as I start the discussion with my interlocutors etc.
And I am also well aware that my international experience could have more value in the job market. And clearly in the current economic context, this is not negligible. You have to be able to stand out from the others and this can clearly be a plus for employers.
Inevitably, like anyone else, even if you don't live abroad, you will have to manage problems. Et find how to solve them And readjust yourself quickly if applicable.
Instead of resisting change, learn to appreciate it as an opportunity for learning and growth. This can result in a more positive attitude toward transitions and new experiences.
For example, I was faced with a layoff and a furlough in over 6 years in Montreal. As much as I wasn't equipped to handle it emotionally the first time, the second time, I saw it coming and I was quite calm with the decision.
But each time I immediately got back into job searching and sometimes had 2-3 interviews a day. And I'm one of those who think that nothing happens by chance in life... 😉
Responding to adversity can say a lot about your inner strength and your ability to bounce back from difficulties.
Because once again, I insist on this, there will be downsides in your expatriation. It is not an Eldorado that you have to go and find, that is a utopia. Like everywhere in the world, there is good and bad in each place. It is up to you to learn to sort through, but always by adapting to your host country.
Developing your open-mindedness
Living in a new cultural environment can help you develop a more open-mindedness. You learn to appreciate and respect cultural differences, and this can change the way you see the world.
By living in contact with a different culture, you learn to accept cultural differences without judgment. You understand that norms and values can vary greatly from place to place. And this makes you more tolerant of lifestyles that are different from your own.
Immersion in a new culture broadens your horizon. You realize that there are multiple ways of perceiving and understanding the world. Which can challenge your own beliefs and preconceived ideas.
As mentioned in the previous point, your ability to adapt to a new culture requires a kind of mental flexibility. You become more able to adapt quickly to changing situations. Which can be valuable in many aspects of life.
Living abroad can confront your own prejudices and stereotypes. By challenging these preconceived ideas, you develop a deeper understanding of others and yourself.
Learning to make concessions
Here I am thinking in particular of the main anxiety of any expat: knowing that you might miss important events.
Of course, the worst would be a death in family/friends and not being able to return on time. Or even to attend the funeral.
This also applies to lighter events such as weddings, family celebrations, births.
In 2022 alone, I had to miss the weddings of my best friend and my childhood friend of over 25 years, within 2 months of each other.
It's hard, of course, but we have to face the facts. When you live 6,000 kilometers away from your loved ones (like me), you can't go home every 4 mornings for one reason or another.
Knowing who I can count on
Life being what it is, you will lose people along the way as well as meet new ones.
A friendship that lasts a few months can have more impact on your life than a long-term friendship. This is true for romantic relationships as well.
Living abroad naturally makes you select between the people who are important to you, and those who are less so.
And it doesn't matter if there aren't many friends left from your life before you left. These are the most authentic and loyal relationships that will always be there despite the distance and the daily grind. And besides, it's quality over quantity, right?
Ask yourself honestly, who is there in the good times but also in the bad times and this despite the time difference? Who thinks of you and asks for news for the important events in your life? Who continues to want to share with you their daily life and the things that are important in their life?
Discover yourself
I think self-knowledge is one of the most profound and personal aspects of the experience of living abroad.
Living in a new cultural environment can lead to deep reflection on many things. Your strengths, your weaknesses or even your personal preferences. This will include aspects such as your lifestyle, your culinary tastes, your favorite hobbies etc.
And then, sometimes, you have to know how to " lose " to better find yourself and discover what you really want and what you no longer want
Also if you have to overcome challenges in your life abroad (and there are), it helps to build your self-confidence. Because you realize that you can adapt to new and unexpected situations. Which can have positive repercussions on your self-esteem.
Experiences abroad, especially distance from family and friends, can lead to varying levels of stress and emotions. Learn to manage these aspects in a healthy way can reveal emotional skills to you that you may not have been aware of.
Nothing is ever acquired
I will take just this example: immigration procedures show this to us clearly
You never finish, endless!
This little reminder always shows you a little more that you are not at 100% at home yet.
Until you have the Holy Grail of a passport (Canadian in my case), nothing is guaranteed.
Afterwards the question does not arise for expats not seeking to settle beyond their PVT duration.
There you have it, on these good words, I would say to conclude that expatriation is a life experience above all. Whether you stay 1 year, 5 years or end up settling there permanently.
But one thing is certain, we always lack what we don't have.
And personally, I still remain today, more than 6 years after my arrival, "the ass between two chairs" between my host country and my country of birth. (Blog article – Ass between two chairs)
