The one who was alone, so what?

Welcome to “Almost No Filter”, the podcast where I share my almost-forty-something chronicles, between life reflections, daily struggles and small realizations. Here, we talk about everything that is part of our journey: the ups, the downs, the doubts, and even the moments when we feel like we've got it all wrong. The goal? To be as honest as possible with ourselves and with you, without filter or pretension. Because we're all a bit in the same boat, trying to understand what makes us move forward, or sometimes what makes us go round in circles. So, relax and let yourself be carried away. Let's go!

There's always that awkward moment when, when you say you're alone, someone looks at you with a hint of pity in their eyes and says "But... are you still okay?" As if loneliness were a transitory state, an anomaly to be urgently repaired.

Why is loneliness so scary for others? Why is it that as soon as we're alone, we have to try to fill that void or prove that we're okay? As if being alone necessarily meant being sad, lacking, or worse... waiting.

But what if I told you no?

Being alone is not a problem, nor a deficiency. It's just a state, not a condemnation.
It's having a coffee on a terrace without scrolling frantically to give the illusion of being busy.
It's going to the cinema alone, without needing to debrief the session with someone to validate your feelings.
It's cooking for yourself, traveling alone, laughing alone – and no, it's not dramatic.

Because chosen solitude isn't emptiness, it's space. A space where we learn to listen to ourselves, to understand ourselves, to no longer lose ourselves waiting for others.
It's time we give ourselves, without compromise, without justification.

And then, let's be honest...
It's often said that loneliness is hard, but how many people are surrounded by others and yet feel very alone?
How many are in a relationship and feel an immense void?

You can be two and feel alone. You can be surrounded and feel like no one really understands you.
So, in these moments, isn't it worse to be in bad company than to simply be at ease with yourself?

Because that's the real issue: being alone doesn't necessarily mean lacking something.
It is also being at peace with oneself, enjoying one's own company.

So yes, sometimes there are times when it weighs on you.
Where we would like to share a laugh on the couch, feel a reassuring presence next to us, have someone to finish an oversized pizza.
But does that mean we have to fill this void at all costs? No.
Because the real question is not "Are you alone?", but "Are you comfortable with yourself?".

Loneliness is not a lack. It is not a gaping hole to be filled.
It can be gentle, liberating.
It can be an opportunity to meet yourself, to build something solid with yourself before inviting anyone else.

And if one day the desire to share arises, so much the better.
But in the meantime…

Nothing. Just you and yourself, and that's already a lot.