Dating in the 3.0 era: The 4 commandments to respect
Finding love on the Internet? Dating sites continue to multiply and expand the range of possibilities a little more. Exit romance, we now rely on algorithms to find the rare pearl. But to survive this traveling virtual supermarket, we should religiously follow these commandments before embarking on it.
A good dose of self-control, you will equip yourself
Difficult or even impossible to make contact
"Bing", match !
Each time we enter this phase where comes the most difficult and decisive step on the sites: the first contact.
It's about who will be the most original in denying receiving a response, who will succeed in "selling themselves" correctly.
Because let's not forget, we live in a culture of the instant, where we all become interchangeable on these sites. You are evaluated on your profile and your first approach, bought, tested, thrown away or even exchanged when you are no longer wanted, like a product.
It should not be forgotten that many men on these apps, in their great logic, often match as many profiles as possible in order to increase their chances of having matches in return. This does not mean that they liked you because very often you find yourself blocked or deleted as soon as you match them before even any possible discussion begins.
Not to mention the discussion these young gentlemen are having, punctuated by "Hi, how are you?" (oh my god just writing it hurts the eyes..) "OK" or of " Yes and you? " at the beginning of your discussion without trying to restart it to make it more lively and interesting, if you don't continue writing, the person won't write either.
Hence this question of understanding how these lunatics ultimately perceive these apps, supporters of the least effort, leaving the woman to do all the work.
Where has the virility gone of those who like to be called the stronger sex?
Nonchalance, no initiative, no seduction, but where the hell have the men gone?!
Be careful, I can understand that some people are not gifted or comfortable with writing, but when you know the principle of these apps, you have to make them want to meet you at least a little bit if you don't take it upon yourself at first.
Personally, a weak-kneed guy who already has nothing to tell me after two sentences, that puts me off quite a bit.
Once again I would like to point out that I am speaking more from my experience here in Quebec in recent years, where men do not flirt or show interest in women, barely daring to meet your gaze in the street or even smile at you.
If you approach them, they'll attack us, the poor devils 😉
As much as in France, annoying and insistent guys are common, here it's the complete opposite and quite destabilizing when you've experienced the exact opposite.
Fake profiles
Finally, another point to dwell on.
These gentlemen think they're smart to create fake profiles with nothing less than profile pictures of famous actors. Uh, are you stupid or what? You don't suspect for a minute that you're going to be caught in advance?
And then if you want to play this little game, at least have the intelligence to choose a photo of a stranger, or of an ordinary model, less risk of getting caught
You will have good self-esteem
As I said, these apps are a virtual supermarket where you don't have time to waste.
We are in an era where everything has to go fast and there is no more time to waste in taking the time to get to know each other like in real life.
Barely two words exchanged, and immediately comes the eternal question "What are you looking for here?" ", screaming with romanticism and gallantry...
And this is often the case even if your profile clearly indicates that you are not looking for a sex date.
Result: if you have the great misfortune (for him) to answer that you are not looking to have fun here 95 % of the time, the person plays dead and ends up ghosting you or simply deleting you.
Proof again and again that only your photos count, the description is strictly useless... It's for decoration...
Discussions barely over before they even began
In short, you still have an interest in having a good dose of self-esteem to navigate these apps without taking it personally.
Your power of seduction is undermined, it's hard to know if you're attractive in the end.
You have to have strong bones to get through all these blockages, ghosting, disrespect even if when you come to these apps, you know what it's all about but you're still going to see it with your own eyes, and burn your wings in this little dating game.
You won't be offended by ghosting
Still in their great courage, this increasingly frequent technique of ghosting, existing in all spheres of our lives certainly but increasingly usual in the new modes of virtual meetings.
You go on a date that seems to have gone well, you go home.
And before you had time to say phew, you see that on the app you have simply been blocked! As if the person in fear of being harassed, took the lead like a good coward. Be careful, I can see the male side rebelling. Yes gentlemen, we know your non-communicative side but there is just a more mature reaction to have I personally think to tell each other things like adults, even if it did not work out between us.
Anyway, that's my vision of things.
In the end, no regrets when faced with a man (if I can call him that), who has no figure, and prefers to exonerate himself by simply blocking you rather than simply telling you that it was nice but that it won't work.
No expectations, you will define
These first dates often feel like a job interview.
You have to meet all the person's criteria, otherwise no second chance, Next!
And often it is physical details that will be decisive...
You also have to pay attention to the writing before even getting past the date stage.
There can be many interpretations of someone's words, which can be dismissed in two shakes of a lamb's tail without looking any further.
This is why you should not wait too long to meet the person and take the risk of staying in the conversation for too long and starting to create your own perception of the latter. If he does not correspond at all to the profile you have imagined, the disappointment will be even harsher and getting back on track each time will be a little more complicated.
I can see you starting to project yourself, and making Prince Charming movies like the encounters we see in the movies... STOP!
So for me, nothing beats meeting in real life, you can know pretty quickly if there is a feeling, a chemistry, and more than anything physical attraction does not take precedence over personality!
Especially with this wave of new arrivals Made in Covid, in search of company, having faced loneliness for too long in this global context. No more sorting to do, no more risks of coming across "waste", no more fake profiles to foil, in short no more patience to play this little game of virtual meetings.
So I still believe in a better world where we can once again increase the opportunities for meetings during an evening with friends, aperitifs and so on.
