When the magic of Christmas doesn't work...

What makes one person happy does not always make another person happy.

The city's lights and shop windows are adorned with red and gold

Consecutive Christmas movies air every day on TV.

There are tons of gift ads all around you.

There is no doubt, December is upon us.

And as the holidays approach, anxiety can set in as soon as the preparations and their flourishes begin.

Do you feel nauseous when you walk into a store when Mariah Carey rings in your ears? Does the thought of shopping for gifts and planning a meal bring you more stress than excitement?

You may be natalophobic. Yes, a term has been created for this category of people. Which designates both the anxiety, the feeling of unease, the depression and even the sadness felt as the end-of-year holidays approach.

You don't find your place among these delighted and amazed faces.

You are lost in the face of all this frenzy in the shops and streets.

The magic of Christmas is definitely not working for you.

Christmas can then be seen as an obligation to come together and get along.

1 in 3 people feel a high level of stress as this period approaches.

If you're already going through a tough time, this time of year takes on a whole new meaning.

Where can this holiday anxiety come from?

• This is a period that can be associated with bad memories: missing loved ones, hurtful arguments with family, strong bonds that are no longer strong with loved ones

• Christmas shopping is a chore : meals to plan, fear of family conflicts, having everyone together or even if it is the first year of hosting at your home for example.

“What if the gifts don’t please?”

“What to have for dinner?”

Not to mention the question of overconsumption generated for a simple evening in the end.

• Christmas is often synonym of family

It's hard to enjoy this time of year, which celebrates family bonding and reunions, if you feel lonely during the holidays.

A lot of jealousy towards these harmonious families, happy to meet up and spend quality time together.

Even Christmas movies paint us this harmonious portrait. With their stories, each one as enchanting as the next.

For example, take this cult film: The Holiday with the 2 couples Kate Winslet/Jude Law and Cameron Diaz/Jack Black.

From being single for Christmas alone to how to find love just by swapping houses for the holidays.

The probability of this happening in real life? Close to zero.

But we watch again and again because it makes us dream for a moment, we must admit, whether we like Christmas or not (and for the pleasure of Jude's eyes, of course ;-))

With all these movies airing in the afternoon with ALWAYS the same storyline year after year: a girl returns to her hometown and finds her childhood sweetheart or meets the new young man in the village. What happens? As in 100% cases, they end up together and the magic of Christmas works.

Or this person living in New York, rich, not a very good person in the first place, full of himself, who changes completely. Having returned to his childhood village in contact with certain inhabitants (there is still here always the guy or girl with whom a love story will be created at the end otherwise it is not a Christmas film)

So, these images sold by these films, TV advertisements, induce a unifying and joyful holiday season. But which in reality can often rhyme with solitude.

No lovers, no children to spoil, a distant family and

• For those who experience Christmas Eve with family, it can also turn into an interrogation about your life choices, your last boyfriend, your future job. In the end, it can quickly turn into a nightmare.

It always brings you back to your condition (single, childless, unemployed etc.)

Isn't there anything sadder than finding yourself alone even when you're with your family? And feeling the sensation of not being understood, loved or even rejected, even by your own family?

Not to mention the impersonal or totally opposite gifts received, showing that your own family does not really know you deep down? Who does not try to find you gifts that will please you?

So how do you survive the holidays?

• Treat yourself

If you are spending New Year's Eve alone, take advantage of this time to think about yourself and, if you don't have to give presents to others, give some to yourself.

Go to the cinema, have a nice meal, relax at the spa etc.

As long as you have friends in the same situation, who could join you. And thus spend quality time.

• Volunteer

Give your time and love for one night by helping people in need.

You can create another family for yourself just for that night.

• Get some fresh air!

Personally, I have done it every Christmas since I have been an expat (except this year). Spending 3-4 days in destinations like New York or Chicago.

A change of scenery can be good and help you forget your loneliness somewhere other than your daily life. So yes, you will be alone too, but outside your cocoon, your comfort zone. And believe me, you will not experience your New Year's Eve as if you had stayed at home.

But you don't necessarily have to go far: find yourself a small chalet in the woods, to relax in front of the wood fire so that one or more solo friends can also join you. Or a weekend by the sea can help you get through this New Year's Eve with more serenity.

So, we breathe, and take heart, it will soon be over.

Think about your future projects, whatever happens, the best is yet to come 