Slow dating: what if we took our time?
We live in a society of overconsumption where quantity prevails over quality. Fast fashion, fast food, etc. Dating apps are not missing out. There is something for everyone, in this quest for always more.
And they still remain the primary way to meet people today.
But why is the trend reversing? Why is slow dating reinventing romantic encounters?
WHAT IS SLOW DATING?
Are you there watching your TV program, wrapped up in your blanket, "Swiping" for half an hour? Are you tired of only having conversations that last 2 messages?
And what if this system actually led to nothing?
So, as its name suggests, the slow dating is about meeting people while taking your time. And taking the time to get to know your suitor.
Because you're not going to fall in love with these apps.
THE "true love" is created over time, through attachment, but a profile with a frozen photo cannot give you this feeling.
Especially since oxytocin, the hormone that causes this attachment, takes time to be created.
These apps lock you into this desire to want everything, right now, right there in the moment. But in reality, building a romantic relationship takes time.
You have to have shared enough time together, discussions, to discover each other's personalities.
A few messages exchanged and hey presto, a date was set. But in this world of " Swipe » and of « Matches " at all costs, it is not always effective.
So we hit the stop button and slow things down.
According to Mélanie Trudel, founder of the application GoSeeYou, "The downtime imposed by the pandemic will have allowed singles to take a step back, to refocus, to know themselves better, to define their needs and desires"
So, what if we took the time to meet people, to discover each other?
Or how to meet less but better.
A return to the spontaneous way of meeting in real life, like a flashback to when we met in the evening, on the benches of the university or at friends' houses.
And no longer relegated to just another match on an app.
WHY IS THIS CONCEPT BECOMING MORE POPULAR?
Slow dating allows us to dust off the idea of "to court", because flirting and seducing someone is a long-term race.
Ideal for romantics, lovers of love, blue flower
Not to mention the exhaustion that can be created by multiplying repeated dates that often lead to nothing.
There's nothing like having just one person in mind, it also avoids the inevitable comparisons between this or that suitor.
And avoid basing it only on the first date, where you are not 100% yourself in an effort to look good and be seductive. And always give yourself the benefit of the doubt to explore the relationship a little more on a second date.
Finally, this concept allows us to reconnect with the human side
Thus advocating kindness and not undermining your self-confidence, between the numerous ghostings of your current suitors and the "unmatches".
WHERE AND HOW TO MEET WITH THIS CONCEPT?
People no longer want to be seen as a product in a mobile supermarket. But meeting people in real life remains difficult, so dating apps are still all the rage.
Several people have looked into this observation and wanted to make things happen.
Starting with the app "Once" developed in the United States and France. It is the opposite of the Tinder concept, namely: Only one profile per day, to take the time to explore in depth.
IF the 2 parties "like" then the discussion can begin otherwise we will have to wait patiently until the next day. We are here, closer to real life where it is rare to meet several new people in one day (unless you sail from event to event every evening of course).
We are not here in an accumulation of possible profiles, you can stay longer to discover a profile in detail.
In France, the community has also existed for 8 years now "The Anour Brigade" created by Jean-Maxime after experimenting with dating apps after a breakup.
The idea: to bring together single people for drinks, who would necessarily come accompanied by a friend, to ensure surprises.
His project in his terms is that " THE "The fact of having to come in pairs, with your best friend for example, allows people who are single not to be embarrassed, and not to make it an evening just for singles"
They have also developed a range of clothing, which has been quite successful, particularly among public figures from the small and big screen.
https://www.facebook.com/labrigadedelamour
http://labrigadedelamour.com/la-brigade/
So there are two schools, everyone prefers the one that suits them best.
Personally, I am nostalgic for these encounters in real life, these games of glances, these shy little smiles on the side, these rapprochements in the evenings.
That smile plastered on her face, excited by the first stirrings of a new relationship.
And above all this spontaneity of life that of meeting someone even in an improbable context and environment.
