The 5 Universal Wounds That Shatter Self-Esteem
They say that time heals all wounds.
This adage must be questioned in the face of these events from the past which can remain engraved, even repressed to the point of preventing us from being ourselves.
In his book " The 5 wounds that prevent you from being yourself », Lise Bourbeau, a specialist in personal development, teaches us to recognize these "faults", to tame them and confront them in order to better get rid of them.
So what does this famous Club of 5 correspond to in detail?
1) REJECTION
Awakening the wound: From conception to one year. Not feeling the right to exist. With the parent of the same sex.
Mask : Fleeing
Body : Contracted, narrow, thin or fragmented.
Eyes : Small, with fear or a mask-like feeling around the eyes.
Vocabulary : “zero” / “nothing” / “nonexistent” / “disappear”
Character : Detached from the material. Perfectionist. Intellectual. Goes through phases of great love to phases of deep hatred. Does not believe in his right to exist. Sexual difficulties. Believes himself to be worthless, worthless. Seeks solitude. Ability to make himself invisible. Finds all means to escape. Goes into astral easily. Believes himself to be misunderstood. Difficulty letting his inner child live.
Biggest fear: panic.
Food : appetite cut by emotions or fear, Small portions. To escape: sugar, alcohol or drugs. Predisposition to anorexia.
Possible diseases: skin / diarrhea / arrhythmia / cancer / respiratory problems allergies / vomiting / fainting / coma / hypoglycemia / diabetes / depression / suicidal / psychosis.
How to try to cure it?
There is no secret to getting out of it, you have to become aware of this wound that your mask prevents you from seeing. To heal yourself, you have to remove this mask, so stop running away and face this fear. Once you take more and more of your place and dare to assert yourself, you are well on your way to healing.
As well as forgiving yourself and forgiving others.
2) ABANDON
Awakening the wound: Between one and three years with the parent of the opposite sex. Lack of emotional nourishment or the kind of food desired.
Mask: Addicted
Body : Long, thin, lack of tone, sagging, weak legs, curved back, arms appear too long and hang down at the sides of the body, drooping or flabby body parts.
Eyes : Big, sad. Eyes that pull.
Vocabulary : “absent”, “alone”, “I can’t stand it”, “I’m being eaten”, “they won’t let go of me”.
Character : Victim. Fusional Need for presence, attention, support and especially support. Difficulty doing or deciding something alone. Asks for advice and does not necessarily follow it. Child's voice. Difficulty being told no (accepting a refusal). Sadness. Cries easily. Attracts pity. One day happy, one day sad. Physically clings to others. Psychic. Star. Seeks independence. Likes sex.
Biggest fear: loneliness.
Food : Bon appetit. Bulimic. Likes soft foods. Eats slowly.
Possible diseases: Back, asthma, bronchitis, migraines, hypoglycemia, agoraphobia, diabetes, adrenal glands, myopia, hysteria, depression, rare diseases that attract more attention, incurable diseases.
How to try to cure it?
The wound of abandonment heals when you feel comfortable alone and seek less attention. Life is less dramatic. You increasingly want to undertake projects and, even if others do not support you, to continue.
And here too forgive yourself and others for being abandoned
3) HUMILIATION
Awakening the wound: Between one and three years with the parent who took care of his physical development. This is usually the mother. Lack of freedom. Feeling humiliated by the control of this parent.
Mask : Masochistic
Body : large, plump, short stature, large, rounded neck, tension in the neck, throat, jaws and pelvis. Round, open face.
Eyes : Big, round, open and innocent like a child.
Vocabulary : "to be worthy", "to be unworthy", "small", "fat".
Character : Frequently ashamed of himself and others or afraid of embarrassing. Does not like to go fast. Knows his needs but does not listen to them. Takes a lot on his back. Controlling to avoid shame. Believes himself to be dirty, heartless, dirty or less than others. Fusional. Manages not to be free because "being free" means "unlimited". If he is limitless, he is afraid of overflowing. Plays the mother. Hypersensitive. Punishes himself by believing he is punishing the other. Wants to be worthy. Lives on disgust. Ashamed on a sexual level but sensual and does not listen to his sexual needs. Compensates and rewards himself with food.
Biggest fear: freedom.
Food : likes high-fat foods, chocolate. Bulimic or many small portions. Ashamed of buying or eating "treats".
Possible diseases: Back, shoulders, throat, tonsillitis, laryngitis, breathing problems, legs, feet, varicose veins, sprains, fractures, liver, thyroid gland, itchy skin, hypoglycemia, diabetes, heart
CHow to try to cure it?
To recover from the wound of humiliation, you must recognize how much you have been ashamed of yourself or others and how much others may have been ashamed of you. You must also become aware of the many times you humiliate, demean, and demean yourself.
You must consider your own needs before helping others and not humiliate them by doing everything for them.
4) TREASON
Awakening from the wound: Between two and four years with the parent of the opposite sex. Breach of trust or unmet expectations in the love/sexual connection. Manipulation.
Mask: Controlling
Body : Exhibits strength and power. In men, shoulders broader than hips. In women, hips broader and stronger than shoulders. Rounded chest. Rounded stomach.
Eyes : Intense and seductive gaze. Eyes that see everything quickly.
Vocabulary : "dissociated", "did you understand?", "I am capable", "let me do it alone", "I knew it", "Trust me", "I don't trust him".
Character : Believes he is very responsible and strong. Seeks to be special and important. Does not keep his commitments and promises or forces himself to keep them. Lies easily. Manipulative. Seducer. Has many expectations. Uneven mood. Convinced he is right and tries to convince the other. Impatient. Intolerant. Understands and acts quickly. Performs to be noticed. Comedian. Confides with difficulty. Does not show vulnerability. Skeptical. Fear of disengagement.
Biggest fear: dissociation; separation; denial.
Food : Bon appetit. Eats quickly. Adds salt and spices. Can control himself when busy but loses control later.
Possible diseases: Diseases of control and loss of control, agoraphobia, spasmophilia, digestive system, diseases ending in "itis", oral herpes.
How to try to cure it?
As with other wounds, you will first have to become aware of it because you are the first to suffer from it. It will be healed when you no longer experience anger when someone comes to disrupt your plans. You will have to let go and stop wanting everything to happen as you wish. This way you will no longer be the center of attraction. And if you succeed, you will not need to let everyone know to be admired.
5) INJUSTICE
Awakening the wound: Between four and six years with the parent of the same sex. Having to perform and be perfect. Blocking of individuality.
Mask : Rigid
Body : Straight, rigid and as perfect as possible. Well proportioned. Round buttocks. Small waist tightened by clothing or belt. Rigid movements. Light skin. Tight jaw. Stiff neck. Straight of pride.
Eyes : Bright and lively look. Clear eyes.
Vocabulary : "no problem", "always/never", "very good/very good", "very special", "exactly", "surely", "okay?".
Character: Perfectionist. Envious. Cuts himself off from his feelings. Often crosses his arms. Performs to be perfect. Too optimistic. Lively, dynamic. Justifies himself a lot. Difficulty asking for help. May laugh at nothing to hide his sensitivity. Dry and stiff tone of voice. Does not admit that he is experiencing problems. Doubts his choices. Compares himself to better and worse. Difficulty receiving in general. Finds it unfair to receive less and even more unfair to receive more than others. Difficulty in pleasing himself without feeling guilty. Does not respect his limits, asks a lot of himself. Controls himself. Likes order. Rarely sick, hard on his body. Angry. Cold and difficulty showing affection. Likes to have a sexy appearance.
Biggest fear: the coldness.
Food : Prefers salty foods to sweet ones. Likes anything crunchy. Controls himself so as not to gain weight. Justifies himself and is ashamed when he loses control.
Possible diseases: Burn out, anorgasm (women), premature ejaculation or impotence (men). Diseases ending in "itis" such as tendonitis, bursitis, arthritis, etc. Torticollis, constipation, hemorrhoids, cramps, blood circulation, liver, varicose veins, skin problems, nervousness, insomnia, poor vision.
How to try to cure it?
For the wound of injustice, the signal of healing will be when you allow yourself to be less perfectionist, to make mistakes without living in anger or criticism. You must allow yourself the right to show your sensitivity, to cry in front of others without fear of their judgment.
So we don't recognize ourselves in all the behaviors, of course.
But ask yourself what injury are you most familiar with?
