The one who thought she had everything under control at 40
Welcome to “Almost No Filter”, the podcast where I share my almost-forty-something chronicles, between life reflections, daily struggles and small realizations. Here, we talk about everything that is part of our journey: the ups, the downs, the doubts, and even the moments when we feel like we've got it all wrong. The goal? To be as honest as possible with ourselves and with you, without filter or pretension. Because we're all a bit in the same boat, trying to understand what makes us move forward, or sometimes what makes us go round in circles. So, relax and let yourself be carried away. Let's go!
Come on, admit it. At 20, you told yourself that by 30, everything would be settled. Then at 30, you told yourself that by 40, you would be an accomplished, serene adult, with a well-ordered life and unshakeable certainties.
You saw yourself with a fulfilling job, a bright apartment with parquet floors and houseplants that last more than three days, a stable love life with someone who understands you without you having to send 800 subliminal messages… and of course, a clear vision of what you wanted to do with the rest of your life.
Spoiler: you're 40 (or almost), and the only thing you know for sure is that your favorite Uber Eats delivers until 11 p.m.
Since we were kids, we have been sold a well-crafted life plan:
- Study (if possible in a “future” field, and not “just because you like it”).
- Find a good job (with a permanent contract, health insurance, and a working coffee machine).
- Settle into a Pinterest-compatible apartment. Be in a relationship (and no, having a crush on your osteopath doesn't count).
- Eventually, have well-behaved children who eat vegetables without negotiation.
- Exercise regularly, drink green smoothies, and understand what a retirement savings plan really is.
Everything was supposed to fall into place pretty much like this, and by the time you turned 40, hey presto! You would officially be a "grown-up" who'd mastered life like a pro.
Except the reality is that… no one has given out the instructions.
Welcome to the club of adults who improvise
Do you think the others have understood everything? Absolutely not.
Even those who proudly post their morning routine on Insta by drinking a spirulina detox juice probably snoozed six times before getting out of bed. Those who seem like perfect couples may spend their evenings arguing over who left the bathroom light on.
The truth is that we are all improvising. We are feeling our way, we are testing, we are making mistakes, we are learning, we are changing our minds.
We tend to see quarantine as a point of arrival, when in fact it is more of a pivotal stage.
This is the age when:
- You realize that changing careers at this age is not crazy, it's even quite common.
- You understand that life doesn't fit into neat little boxes and that no one is "late."
- Your priorities change: at 20, you wanted to go on a road trip to the other side of the world. At 40, a weekend where no one asks you out is absolute luxury.
- You stop believing that love is necessarily obvious. Sometimes it's a joyful mess, sometimes it's a discussion about who takes out the trash.
- You see friends getting divorced, others having babies, some leaving everything to move to another continent. There is no single path.
So if today you panic because you don't have "all inclusive", relax.
No one really knows what they're doing. Some just hide it better than others.
What if we stopped trying to check boxes and just enjoyed the adventure a little more?
Come on, go order yourself a pizza, it might be the only decision you're sure of today.
And frankly, that's already not bad.
