Childhood wounds: How they impact your adult life

We often think that childhood is long behind us. And yet... certain experiences continue to haunt us, sometimes without us realizing it. These emotional wounds from childhood can influence our behavior, our relationships, and even our perception of ourselves as adults.

Consider a child who feels rejected, or who experiences constant criticism, or who experiences a traumatic event. Even as an adult, that little piece of us remains there: sometimes angry, sometimes seeking attention and security. And that's normal: our brain records these experiences to protect us, even if today they hold us back more than they help us.

The most common childhood injuries

Some injuries are particularly common and can leave scars in adulthood. These include:

• Rejection : feeling unaccepted or unloved, whether at school or at home.
• Abandonment : feeling that no one is there to support or protect you.
• Humiliation : repeated criticism or mockery that affects self-esteem.
• The betrayal : feeling that one cannot trust others.
• Injustice : feeling that the world is unfair or that our efforts are worthless.

These wounds are not always conscious, but they can manifest themselves in your daily behaviors, your relationships or your life choices.

How these injuries manifest in adulthood

Sometimes you don't see the direct connection to childhood. Yet, these experiences can translate into:

• Doubting your worth or abilities.
• Being afraid of failure or being a perfectionist.
• Avoid conflicts or flee certain situations.
• Feeling anxious, angry, or distrustful in relationships.
• Postponing certain decisions for fear of repeating the past.

Example: Julien loves to write but always puts off his projects until tomorrow, for fear that his work will not be “good enough”. As he digs deeper, he realizes that it comes from repeated criticism at school that has undermined his self-confidence.

Small actions to feel better

Freeing yourself from your past isn't about forgetting or erasing your wounds. It's about understanding them, accepting them, and learning to reconnect with yourself.

Here are some simple ideas:

• Write down your emotions in a notebook or journal to better identify them.

For example, instead of staying with this vague feeling of anxiety, you could write: “Today I was afraid to talk to my colleague about this because I was afraid of making a mistake.”This simple exercise allows you to step back and better identify the situations that reawaken your childhood wounds. You can also use your journal to explore your childhood memories, note down the moments that marked you and observe how they influence your life today.

• Talk about it with a trusted friend or family member.

Sometimes, just putting words out there makes all the difference. Choosing someone you trust, someone who listens without judgment, can help you unload some of that emotional weight and gain a different perspective.

• Get support from a therapist or coach.

Some wounds are deeper or harder to manage alone. A professional can help you understand your patterns and find concrete strategies to transform them.

• Become aware of your reactions and understand what triggers them.

It's about noticing situations that awaken your childhood wounds, without judging yourself.

For example, you may find that you become very stressed when someone criticizes you even a little. Rather than dismissing this reaction, write it down: “Okay, I feel my stress rising, maybe it comes from the time I was criticized at school.”This awareness allows you to choose a new response, rather than automatically repeating an old pattern.

• Create new emotional habits that make us feel good: breathing, meditating, congratulating ourselves on small successes.

These small habits help retrain your emotional brain and transform past wounds into strengths that nourish your life today. Your childhood wounds don't define who you are. They simply remind you that you've been through hardships and have the capacity to rebuild yourself.

So if certain wounds continue to haunt you, remember: looking at them and welcoming them is already a first step towards your freedom. Little by little, you can learn to live fully, without your childhood holding you back any longer.