{"id":646,"date":"2021-07-25T16:31:00","date_gmt":"2021-07-25T10:31:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/a-girl-next-door.com\/?p=646"},"modified":"2022-02-13T05:02:45","modified_gmt":"2022-02-12T23:02:45","slug":"le-cul-entre-deux-chaises","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/a-girl-next-door.com\/en\/le-cul-entre-deux-chaises\/","title":{"rendered":"Ass between two chairs"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Biased sense of belonging<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Country where I was born<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Country where I immigrated<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My heart is split in two<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Here everything has to be done and in France, everything has to be consolidated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Everything needs to be rethought<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How to make the right choice<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And leave one of these two countries behind<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Doubts, continual questions,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While my fears paralyze me, my culture calls me<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We tend to believe that the grass is greener elsewhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But it's really just a decoy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

I have experienced some very good things as well as some very complicated things.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2 years of Spanish hostel, chaining evenings, weekends, activities<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But the honeymoon phase is well and truly over.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Friends leaving one after the other, over the years<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A new social circle to constantly recreate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The feeling of being a little alone begins to creep in,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Illusion that returning home would replace this buried evil.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But as I remember, before I left, I didn't have a very developed social circle either.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And my weekends, I often spent alone too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I figure that change, getting out of my comfort zone, would do me good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Feeling of being stagnant for a long time<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sedentary, at home for too long<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Covid, you have ruined my social life<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Covid, a forced awareness, you have brought about.<\/p>\n